Two years old for just tonight...

Gwendolyn Rebecca,
You're THREE tomorrow! There are moments I can hardly believe it, and then moments where it seems like I've never been me without you. I don't know how often I find myself just looking at you still in awe that I get to be your mommy. I know we've probably made mistakes and not always done everything in the last three years right, but - by God's grace - you still seem to be thriving. Daddy and I talk about how blessed we are by you for so many reasons, but below are some of my favorites...

The way you dance with your arms out and bend your legs and make adorable faces. Or the way you show us new tricks you've learned like balancing on one foot and doing somersaults.  And your singing...oh, that's so great. You were walking through a store recently proudly sharing your vocal skills without a care in the world. I think it went something like, "I'm in the Lord's ARMYYYYY. Do you want to build a snowmaaaaaan?" You are confident.

You call out for me after daddy has read you books, sang you songs, and prayed with you because you want me to come in and "just snuggle" with you. You get this big smile on your face every time and often say, "I was waiting for you." You then put your arms around my neck and we lay as close together as possible while telling knock knock jokes and sharing what we are thankful for. I cherish that time with you.

And can we please talk about your knock knock jokes? They make absolutely no sense, but that's what makes them hilarious. I love your sense of humor.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Chicken.

Chicken who?

Chicken in the garbage with the bowl.

You run to the door with arms wide open when Daddy gets home. You are welcoming to guests and love sending them off with a "have a good day! Be careful!" You are thoughtful and kind.

You "babysit" for me and sing songs or read books to Conrad while I work on something or get ready. You always take your job seriously and stay right by him.  I really appreciate your help.

You aren't too big or too busy to cuddle and often want "uppy". And you still love to hold Conrad even though he's just about the same size as you. It seems you're always patting him on the head and giving him hugs. I love your physical touch love language.

You in your rain boots. Or skinny jeans. Or Sunday dresses. Or footed jam jams. You can pull anything off.

You're obedient, patient, and sensitive The way you show concern for others when they're upset or crying. Your love for your family and friends. The way you ask, "how was your day, dad?" The random times throughout the day where you stop what you're doing and say, "mom, I really love you." You inspire me.

Your impressive self-control at Target or Toys R Us. I wish I had that.

Our play dates, trips to the library or the park, or just hanging out at home. I genuinely love being with you.

You remind us to pray for certain people and to do our bible verse at meal time. You even tell me not to pick my lip (horrible bad habit). You keep me accountable. 

You have a myriad of interests including but not limited to: playing pretend, reading books, watching movies, going on adventures, being outside, taking care of your Barbies and baby dolls, singing, dancing, playing hide & seek, hanging out with friends and family, and making people laugh. You are really fun to be around.

Cooking or baking is always more fun with your extra set of hands. I love how you ask, "can I help you?" You're considerate.

You have this incredible way of making Conrad laugh with your silly faces and interaction with him. You often come into his dark room at night while I'm nursing him and without saying a word walk over and rest your head on his body for a minute as if to say, "goodnight bud...I love you." You are tender-hearted.

You ask a lot of questions about a lot of things and love to learn. You could sit and read books for a long time, and especially love reading your bible. I love to see God working on your heart.

Three years ago today I had the incredible opportunity of meeting you for the first time face to face. They placed you in my arms and you were finally there and you were ours. You bring things to this family that no one else could and that are unique to only you. You couldn't be a better big sister, and Conrad's so fortunate to have you. I wish I could - just for a moment - see into the future to see what plans God has in store for you, but this I know for sure...they are good plans and He will always be there. He's answered our prayers for you in so many ways already and for that we are so thankful.

You are what is right and well in this world sweet girl. You inspire me to grow and be the best mommy I can be, with lots of help from God. Not every day is perfect, but I love that we are in this together. You're my first for so many different things...the good and the bad. Thanks for forgiving me for areas where I don't have it pulled together and loving me despite my weaknesses. You may be little, but the impact you've had on my heart these last three years is tremendous.

It's tempting to wallow in my sadness that another year has passed us by. I could easily lose it at the thought of your 2 year old ways coming to an end. (And let's be honest, I have.) You won't always have a sweet little voice that pronounces words incorrectly, or be light enough to still carry on my hip. I may not always be "your best friend" and inevitably some day, Lord willing, you'll love someone even more than you love me. Gulp. (I have some three year old boys in mind. For thirty years from now.) These things both break my heart and make me sing with joy because you're healthy and strong and beautiful and so so worthy of being loved and cherished.

Tomorrow when you wake up, you'll no longer be two years old and a little tiny bit of me grieves for the last year that held so many precious moments, but I rejoice in God's sovereignty over your life and His outpouring of mercy in giving us March 23rd, 2014 as the day we will celebrate you turning THREE.

This mommy job is the hardest and bestest job in the world. Thank you for challenging me, encouraging me, loving me, forgiving me, and bringing me endless joy.

You are loved and treasured. Happy (early) birthday and sweet dreams little girl!

Love always,
Mommy

Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you. - Psalm 33:22