Food for Thought Friday

I recently started reading "Gospel-powered Parenting" by William P. Farley and this part really struck my heart last night. I often pray for my sweet Gwendolyn's salvation, but I've never read anything so blatantly honest like this. Sometimes it takes the honest to get us to really understand and take things seriously. It read...

"There are many definitions of parenting. For example, Wikipedia notes that "parenting is the process of raising and educating a child from birth until adulthood." For Christians, however, this definition is inadequate. It ignores the ultimate goal of parenting - eternity.

Christians parent with one eye on eternity. Their children will live forever. This is a staggering thought. We cannot imagine "forever." Nevertheless, the destiny of our children either will be love that surpasses knowledge, joy inexpressible and full of glory, coupled with peace that passes understanding, or it will be weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. There is no middle ground. Therefore, the Christian does not parent for this life only. The believing parent labors to prepare each child for the day of judgment. The stakes are inexpressibly high."

Woah.

We have a lot of responsibility. Thank goodness God has provided us with His word and we have the tools we need to do our jobs. I read that and was both inspired and encouraged to wake up this morning and start this day afresh. I am so thankful for the Gospel. If you don't know where to start, pick up your bible. Start in John. Soak it up and let it transform your life.

Lord, 

I pray you help us prepare Gwendolyn for the day of judgment and diligently pursue her heart. Help us be a God-centered family that keeps you as our focus and brings you glory and honor in all we do. I know this job is not easy, but the rewards are worthwhile. Thank you for your loving mercies that are new every morning. Let your will be done. 

In Jesus' name, Amen.

You're more than worth it, Gwendolyn....

The Great Exchange

As I was rocking a sleeping Gwendolyn in my arms the other morning and thinking about how I love every single inch of her...I was reminded of how much God loves us as his children. It's so amazing to think that even as much as I love my daughter, His love for us doesn't even begin to compare. It's difficult to fathom really. If asked of me, I'm not sure I'd be able to sacrifice my child, yet that's exactly what he did for each one of us. We've probably all heard the Easter message before...Jesus died on a cross for our sins and rose from the dead three days later.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure


How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

I mean, when you really think about this....it's simply incredible.

God sent his son Jesus who knew no sin to die on the cross and take our sin upon himself. He did this for all past, present, and future sins. He took our sin and in exchange we were credited his righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21.) If we're in Christ - following him and living in faith alone - the gift of eternal life is available to every single one of us. Without his death, we wouldn't know the promised gift of eternal life with him in Heaven. And in His dying, we too died to our earthly desires. They have no power over us. If we're in Christ, the Holy Spirit is working and living within us. We owe him everything.

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers


It was my sin that left Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

And then after dying and being buried in a tomb, he rose just like he said he would. He defeated death. He ascended to be with God in Heaven and promised to return. John 14:2-3 tell us that he prepared a place for us, and if he's prepared a place for us then surely he'll return for those who are in Christ Jesus and believe in him. In the mean time, we are to follow and obey his commands. (Easier said than done, right? Exactly why we need to humble ourselves and accept his grace.)

There's so much more to his sacrificial death and resurrection - the Gospel - when I begin to think and read about it. I am just so thankful that he has ordained my days and leads the way. That doesn't mean it's always easy - our sanctification is daily and none of us will ever fully arrive - but I believe that by grace we are saved. If you believe that you are saved by faith alone, then that amazing sacrifice and grace is for you as well.


I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

"How Deep the Father's Love for Us" has got to be one of my favorite songs of all time. The words are so true and I become overwhelmed by gratitude for all that he endured on my behalf whenever I hear it.


It was my sin that held him there...


His dying breath has brought me life...


But I will boast in Jesus Christ...


His wounds have paid my ransom...

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Lord, we am so undeserving of your love and mercy, yet Father I ask that you pour it on us today. Be present in our homes. Be present in my lives Your sacrifice on the cross is nothing short of amazing. We deserve wrath every day and yet you took our place to save us from our sins. Your love for us is incomprehensible and we'll never fully grasp the great height and depth and breadth in this broken and fallen world. No matter our circumstances, you are so worthy of our praise! Thank you for fulfilling your promises. For those who are in Christ, I believe the promise you made while on the cross to the criminal who acknowledged you will be true for us as well..."I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:42)

I pray the Gospel would reign over our hearts and in our lives and transform us. Fill us with your Holy Spirit. Thank you for your work on the cross and for conquering death.  May your will be done in our lives! Amen.

Happy Easter! 


He is RISEN!

Kyrkja...a baby journey

I'll never forget the first time I met Karena in August 2010...I was 9 weeks pregnant and it was our first time visiting our current church. She was absolutely thrilled when I told her I was expecting. She smiled big and hugged me. And then told me she and her husband had been trying for four years to have a baby and they were beginning the adoption process. I was so touched by her response that I fought back tears. 

Longing for years. 

Four surgeries. Seven failed intrauterine inseminations and countless tests.

Yet, this amazingly joyful woman was so genuinely happy for us - a couple she had known for only minutes. She prayed over me before we left that evening, and I was once again reminded how blessed we were. To have a healthy baby growing inside of me, but also to have found our new church family. 

Karena and Thomas became active as potential adoptive parents on January 1st, and within a month they received a referral. A baby! And he/she would be arriving only days after our baby was due. Everyone was so excited for them, and we immediately started talking about nursery decor, registry details and cloth diapers. The week came that their baby would be arriving - they were overjoyed and "on call." 

They soon found out that the birth mother whom they had established a solid relationship with had decided to unexpectedly keep the baby afterall, and she had failed to call them when she went into labor like she had promised they would. They were of course heart-broken, but their faith never wavered. In Karena's email words, "We have been so broken over the loss of the sweetie we thought would be our daughter. Thank you very much to those of you who have loved and supported us so tenderly in our grief. It has been painful, and God has shown Himself to be faithful. And good. And sovereign. And trustworthy. And true."

Then, while they were still grieving the loss of the baby, they were chosen again. And this time for TWIN DAUGHTERS who were due in July.

In another email...

"What a God!  What a mighty God!  What a faithful God!  What a redemptive God!  What a loving God!  What an "exceedingly, abundantly more than all we could ever ask or imagine" God!"

How true. TWINS! We prayed for the health of the babies, and that God's hand would continue to cover the entire adoption process.

Unfortunately, the birthmom decided to parent the baby girls after all. Thomas and Karena grieved the loss of the second and third babies they thought would be their own.

I just knew that God would bless the desires of their heart, but it was certainly difficult to not question His plans in their situation. They were so deserving and had so much love to offer a little one. They were heart-broken, but remained hopeful. They were transparent with their church family and so many people were praying for them. They chose to focus on the many ways that God had been so faithful to them, rather than focus solely on the one area that it seemed He hadn't. Like Karena said, "He is a wise and loving Father who does ALL things well."

And then one Sunday at church, I noticed a rose on the podium which are given to celebrate new babies within the congregation. I couldn't remember a new baby being born recently but I just figured I had missed something. Pastor Thomas finished up announcements and then turned his attention to the rose. He started talking about everything they've been through and how God had remained faithful despite their ache for a child. He thanked everyone for walking the journey with them and then after a pause...out walked his wife Karena holding a tiny, brand new, beautiful, dark-haired BABY GIRL. There was a collective gasp throughout the church and I instantly starting crying tears of joy. They had a weeks notice before she was born, and had brought their new daughter home the previous Monday. 


Kyrkja (keer-kuh) Noel Grace was born on August 20th. They made it through the risk period, and have settled in as a family of three wonderfully. I love seeing her at church - she's already changed so much since I had the honor of taking her newborn pictures when she was only 11 days. I share this story because it shows how loving our God is and how he hears and answers our prayers. Thomas and Karena have inspired me in so many ways, and I desire to serve God without conditions just as they have. 


Now this is the confidence we have before Him: whenever we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears whatever we ask, we know that we have what we have asked Him for. -- 1 John 5:14-14

(You can click on collage to view images larger.)

Praise Him from whom all blessings flow!

Dear Heaven...

Dear Heaven,
When I think of you, I visualize the perfect setting.
Hosting extraordinary people whose memories will never be erased.


I hear you have mountains, rivers, valleys and fields.
Beautiful landscapes with all the time in the world to explore.


And to behold the largest choir singing worship and praise...
I am sure no words would be able to express the awe.


I bet there are parties with all the things we love.
Big feasts of thanksgiving with endless joy and laughter.


And then there's God with Jesus seated at His side.
Ready to bestow His grace, forgiveness and protection.


I know it is far better than my imagination can even comprehend.
It is eternal - the weight of the world lifted forever.


I think of friends and loved ones who are already there.
I wonder if they see our tears and hear our heartfelt prayers.


I speculate what they would share if they could relay a message.
I bet they would tell us that Heaven is far better


Than any earthly things we could ever believe we need.
I am certain that after hearing of your glory, no doubt would be cast.


For it is not this life we should live for.
No, this life has pain, heartache and suffering.


It is the next one - in Heaven - that should have our attention.
So we can anticipate arriving with no fear or trepidation.


I often dream of seeing the angels and looking in the face of God.
And imagine experiencing daily, his abounding adoration and grace.


There are countless things we will not understand this side of you,
but Heaven, I trust that God will always see us through.


Until then,
Sarah

In loving remembrance,

on this day and all days...

Shannon Jacob Smith

12/16/82 to 5/24/09

Ever wonder....

...if lovely new flowers are God's way of telling us that despite our current circumstances...

our weaknesses...

our pain, trials and grief...

or how weak and defeated we feel...

that new life - abundant and beautiful life - will come again. 

Just as He promises, if we abide in Him and His word. 

Because I do. 

I am thankful that the change of seasons brings reminders of His promises. 

As long as the earth endures,

seedtime and harvest,

cold and heat,

summer and winter, 

day and night will never cease.

Genesis 8:22

Cardboard Testimonies

I saw this YouTube video on Kelly's blog today and it just about had me sobbing at my desk. It's extremely touching and moving, and there are several testimonies that could have been my very own. Each one of us has a testimony to share. Each one of us could tell of something amazing that God has done in our lives even if our stories are also speckled with grief, heartache, sickness, shame, regret or longing.

What would your cardboard testimony be?

Mine:

Chased just about everything but Him.

Captured by his forgiveness, healing and grace.

It's worth the 8 minutes,

Today is All I Have

Back in August we went to church with my sister-in-law, Trisha. Tom's parents were in town for the weekend so the five of us went to the Saturday evening service. I was looking forward to good music (our small church is getting there) and an uplifting message. So imagine my surprise when the message topic turned out to be on grief.

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"Oh, perfect timing," I said to myself as thoughts of the accident quickly consumed my mind. "Here I am with the in-laws at a new church and I'm going to be a crying mess."

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Well indeed I got more than good music and an uplifting message. I've wanted to recap what I learned and felt that day but kept avoiding reviewing the message b/c sometimes it just plain bites to be reminded of what/who is gone and why you know anything about grief in the first place. I've been processing and thinking about it ever since. The whole situation reiterates how God knows exactly what we need to hear and when we need to hear it...

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The message started off being about the summer movie hit "Up." The pastor took us through the story of this old grumpy guy named Carl. Not always grumpy, Carl deeply loved his wife and they shared some very happy and some very sad times together. "Up" is about Carl's process of learning to live again after Ellie dies.

---

"OK, this will be cute," I thought.

"I mean it is a cartoon and all...it can't go too deep."

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And then the pastor threw out a quote by Alan Sachs - "Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives." As I took that in, he went on to give examples of how cruel life can be sometimes. He talked about how sometimes life throws us punches and we start just going through the motions; not fully alive b/c of something we've lost.

House

Health

Job

Marriage

Someone

A dream

Faith in God

Carl holds tightly to every little thing that says "Ellie." He doesn't want to let go of anything that represents her or their life together. The defining moment in the movie comes when he has to make a decision about letting go of some things from his past. As the lump formed in my throat and my thoughts raced from one thing to another to another, the pastor asked us "Carl's" how we are dealing with our loss -- in my case the death of a friend.

---

"Well...

Crying. A lot.

Talking to close friends.

Journaling.

Lots of quiet time.

Lots of prayer," I thought.

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He went on to talk about David in 2 Samuel 12. David's baby dies. (We won't get in to all the details leading up to this point.) And told us that there is something to learn from David's way of expressing his grief.

1. He didn't repress it. He openly weeps, facing the pain.

2. He didn't go in to isolation. He needed support.

3. He didn't needlessly hang on. He faced reality.

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As I fought the tears that inevitably made their way down my cheeks,

I heard the pastor say...

"Yesterday is gone. Doesn't matter how tightly we hang on to yesterday or how much we think about what happened or how much we've lost - I can't change it. Tomorrow is uncertain. Today is all I have. As long as I'm trying to hold on to and relive yesterday, I won't see today as a gift."

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4. He didn't give up on God. Despite his pain and sorrow, David went on to write Psalm 34: 17 & 18: The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

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I know David's way isn't for everyone but it definitely gave me some things to think about. Is it easier said than done? Absolutely. If I'm having a bad day, I force myself to think about the glory of Heaven and all that is waiting. It comforts me to know my loved ones are there. I picture them and try to wrap my mind around what they're doing at this. very. moment. I wish I knew but I know my time will come. My salvation isn't something I take lightly especially when the reality is that today is all I have. Tomorrow is not guaranteed and we can't do anything about the past. It's this day and this moment that matter. It's been a trying process of getting back on my feet since Shannon's accident. I've become well aware that time is fleeting and if one good thing has happened within me since he met Jesus, it's the fact that I daily anticipate my own reunion with my Savior. I am far from making the most of every moment and living like each day is my last, but in the midst of my failures, I know his grace covers me. I wish I didn't know the ache and feeling of losing someone I loved or having friends and family members struggle with their own grief. But I do and even still, I don't just want to go through the motions. I want to see today as a gift. And my deepest prayer for others in a season of loss is that they too would eventually see today as a gift.

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The pastor ended the message having us all answer the question: "what do I have left?" So many things would be on my list but to start...

#1. My husband

#2. Today

Ending prayer: God, would you rescue me b/c I don't want to go through the motions for another day. Heal me. Put the broken pieces together again and give me a reason to live. We thank you for this day that you have made and pray you'd do a work of redemption in us. Amen.