Real Life

We watched Julie & Julia this past weekend and I thought it was adorable. Tom thought it was just "good" but based on his laughing literally out loud at some parts, I think he was being a tad conservative with his vote. I'm easily inspired by others, so not only did I want to go pick up a thick cookbook and start making my way through unexplored culinary territory, but I wanted to love my husband the way that Julia loved hers. I know it's just a movie, but it was based on her real life and I had no idea the special bond she shared with her husband. Julia and Paul seemed truly in love and content with one another. They worked alongside one another and encouraged each other to reach their full potential. They laughed and ate and loved life. Julia had such a positive outlook.

Being my sentimental self, I compared their life as a married couple to my real life with Tom. I can see him praising me in front of a group of friends, or encouraging me to do something that may scare me out of my mind but he knows I am capable of (triathlon.) Aside from being honest, loyal, loving and many more things that I've probably mentioned before, my husband has helped me through a very difficult 9 months in ways he probably doesn't even realize. We rarely talk about it because talking about it is difficult, but when we do, Tom speaks gently...with concern and a deep desire to help make everything easier. He has been in a tough situation - helping his wife grieve for a young man who at one point in time she thought she would marry.

My ex boyfriend from college died in a motorcycle accident last Memorial Day.

(deep breaths...)

It pains me to say or write or think those words. I catch myself saying "Shannon is gone" over and over in my mind, but rarely can I say those words out loud without my heart racing and tears welling in my eyes. So I typically avoid them. I say "my friend" or "the accident" but I try to leave the word Shannon out of a spoken sentence with the words died, Heaven and forever.

I have found a few safe people I can talk to about it, but honestly my husband has not been one of them. Can you blame him for not really knowing what to say though? I can't. After standing by my side in the hours and days that surrounded hearing about the accident and then Shannon's visitation and funeral, I felt so blessed to be loved by such a courageous man. Tom could have gotten upset or defensive about things, but his gentleness in those very tender moments was truly beyond my comprehension. As the weeks went on, I attempted a few times to talk to him about "stuff," but his reaction or words didn't quite fit with what I had hoped for or needed in that instant. I didn't expect him to understand what I was feeling. Slowly we've healed together though. Tom knows without my saying anything why I may be having a tough day or why my pillow is stained with tears. He doesn't dismiss my feelings or question my love for him. Ever. He brushes the hair from my eyes and hugs me through it. His quiet "it's ok, honey" - even now - when I'm not strong enough to verbally express what I'm feeling, is all I need to hear.

Our wedding vows say that we will love each other when we are together and when we are apart. When our lives are at peace and when they are in turmoil...

My husband has done just that. And I love him so much for it.

Tom,

I know this road hasn't been easy for either of us. I hope and pray that eventually when we look back on this time, though difficult and trying, we will see that we've grown closer to one another and to God. Thank you for being patient with me and comforting me even when the words haven't come easily. You are an amazing man and I delight in being your wife.

Love always,

Multitude Monday

#141...Date night at home.

#142...Cleaning, running errands, making dinner with the hubby. I love how it doesn't feel like "work" when we do it together.

#143...Chirping birds outside our window.

#144...The cool breeze when the sunroof is open.

#145...Sunlight until almost 6 pm.

#146...Being brave and opening up.

#147...A clean car - inside and out.

#148...The feeling of a much needed hug.

#149...New monthly magazines in the mail.

#150...Knowing He is bigger than my sorrow and worries.

Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I know that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." John 11: 41-42

Spring Inside

There's just something about pretty flowers that warms my heart. I'm not the type of girl who typically wants flowers for our anniversary or Valentine's Day (but of course I'd never be disappointed if I received them.) And the reason I don't usually want them is because a.) they're expensive and b.) they don't last that long. Except when you buy them from Trader Joe's. I was there recently and thought that the white and green bouquet with red berries (we had them in our wedding bouquets *awwww) would be just perfect as a touch of Spring in our entry way. We are still enjoying this $10 bouquet more than two weeks later...I do not lie.

My mom so lovingly gave us some ISU tulip bulbs back in January because she knows how much we enjoy watching things bloom (which I totally get from her.) And they're blooming, alright...

There may still be feet of snow out there, but I can just bring Spring inside.

And I will.

Project #1: Completed

I finally completed what was supposed to be my "fall project." Ha. That fall project (started September 25th, to be exact) turned into a fall/most of winter project. NBD (no big deal.) After having to start my first ever knitting adventure over three times, I lost my motivation about half way through. Thankfully, there's a group of girls at our church who get together every couple weeks to knit and do craft type projects, and it's odd but if you dedicate time to something, you'll eventually complete it *smile. With the encouragement of my husband ("how is that scarf coming along?") and my girlfriends at church, I am now the proud owner of a beautiful gold scarf. My bf, Liz, bought me the yarn and knitting needles for my last birthday after seeing the finished product in a Okoboji shop. So now the question is, how should I wear it?! There are so many options. Thankfully my hubby was on hand to (lovingly) photograph all the ways...

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Option A.
Option B.
Option C.

Option D.Option E.
Or Option F. - channeling my inner Nicole Richie. Yeah, I think Option F. is my favorite.
JK.
If you look closely, there are holes and missed loops and maybe it's a tad uneven in spots, but I still think it's lovely. And I love that Liz thought of me and opened my world up to a whole new (and fun!) hobby. I promise I'll finish my next project in under four months *smile.

Now if I could only finish our 2nd anniversary Shutterfly book and the captain's chair I am refinishing...

Multitude Monday

#131...Even small signs of Spring.

#132...Pulling off really awesome surprises.

#133...The way Tom makes me laugh.

#134...Gifts when least expected.

#135...Clean dishes and empty laundry baskets.

#136...A brand new manicure (done while blogging.)

#137...Whispers of love in my ear.

#138...Waking up late and still making it on time. Phew.

#139...Sharing the weekend with girlfriends.

#140...Having the best Valentine ever. Love you, Tommy!

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28:7

Make it a great week,

Trisha's Big Birthday Surprise

Happy 25th birthday to my sis-in-law, Trisha! This girl is full of life. She loves spending time with people, and goes above and beyond to show others how much she cares. Whether it be through text, email, handwritten letters or face to face over dinner - Trisha goes out of her way to listen, encourage and share the love of Christ with others. She's grown a lot since I first met her 4.5 years ago, and it's been a joy to see God molding and making her into the young woman she is today.

As part of her birthday present, a couple of us went in on flying Natalie from Cincy to surprise Trisha for the weekend. And where would be the ideal place to pull off such a grand surprise? Well, at work of course! After arranging a fake meeting with her boss to ensure she'd be at her desk, Erin and Tom walked up to Trisha's cube with flowers to just ya know, brighten her Friday and wish her a happy early birthday. And then...out pops the best present of all - our other sister-in-law (wife of Tom's brother, Greg) and Trisha's best friend in the whole wide world - NATALIE! Here they are after Trisha has regained her composure...

And from that point on, it's been a fabulous girl's weekend. Think food, drinks, rewatching the Bachelor and American Idol, story telling, and fun (and interesting) girl talk. Natalie got to see where Trisha works, check out both of our houses, meet Trisha's Minnesota girlfriends, go to Trisha's church and be there for the big transition from early twenties to no longer early twenties *smile. Is there a better way to spend your birthday?!

Natalie even got to meet Jacob who stopped by for some dessert with my brother and Nikki. (She had only ever seen him in pictures and videos.)
And now here's the best part...the actual surprise caught on video. I wanted so badly to be there but the video kind of makes me feel like I was. Trisha's reaction and face is ah-mazing. Just priceless.

Happy birthday, Trisha! Hope it was one you'll never, ever, ever forget.

Love always,

Jacob's Nightly Routine

We hung out with Scott, Nikki and Jacob last Friday night. Boy, oh boy is Jacob one funny kid. He's quite smart, and with his big boy hair cut sometimes looks much older than his two years. He knew exactly what I meant when I asked him if he wanted to help me make dessert (which was soooo yummy. Thank you Bakeralla!) He was a fabulous assistant and helped dump all of the ingredients into the pan. He may or may not have "stolen" a couple pieces of peaches in the process, but thankfully we put our on twist on the recipe and added frozen blueberries to make up for it *smile. Jacob loves his fruit! Check out Nikki's post to watch and hear him counting the tablespoons (shhhh) of butter. I love his voice!While dessert was in the oven, Jacob served Uncle Tom and me some of his special "soup and rice." It was delicious! Honestly some of the best soup I've ever had. In addition to driving trucks and trains, playing football and reading books, Jacob has added cooking to his long list of talents and interests.
One...two...three THROW!
Look at that follow through stance...
And for his cool down, he just did a little downward facing dog action. Yoga is great for all ages, ya know.
Then it was off to change into his Thomas pj's and brush his teeth.
And then of course play with a firetruck, a.k.a. stalling.
And with a hug for Uncle Tom...
and a kiss for Aunt Sarah...
Jacob was off to sleepy land!

Oh, how I love that kid.

Cardboard Testimonies

I saw this YouTube video on Kelly's blog today and it just about had me sobbing at my desk. It's extremely touching and moving, and there are several testimonies that could have been my very own. Each one of us has a testimony to share. Each one of us could tell of something amazing that God has done in our lives even if our stories are also speckled with grief, heartache, sickness, shame, regret or longing.

What would your cardboard testimony be?

Mine:

Chased just about everything but Him.

Captured by his forgiveness, healing and grace.

It's worth the 8 minutes,

Multitude Monday

#121...The sparkle of fresh snow.

#122...Making dessert with our two year old nephew.

#123...Hearing Tom's voice on the rare mornings he wakes up before I leave.

#124...Mrs. Meyers Lemon Verbena Countertop Spray. Ahhh, clean....

#125...Having others in to our home.

#126...Catching a great smile on camera.

#127...The scent of freshly washed sheets.

#128...Finishing a project.

#129...New responsibilities at work.

#130...Finding joy in the small things.

"So I offer up my life.

It's all I have to give.

And I confess that I have sinned.

Praise the Lamb, praise the Lamb." - Alli Rogers' song

Reflection Questions for 2009

** I spent quite some time working on this post back on December 31st and I was so disappointed when I hit "Publish" and my post was completely gone. Or so I thought! Low and behold, I found it today - dated 1/1/09. Oops. I know it's now a month old, but I thought I'd repost it anyway and share my answers.
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I love (In)Courage. I look forward to the daily devotionals in my email inbox each day. Sometimes they're short and sweet, while other times they're long and deep and really make me ponder for a couple minutes. I love the variety in writing and pictures and seeing what other women have had on their hearts. Thursdays post had reflection questions for 2009, and encouraged readers to not just think about what they'll change for 2010 but to also reflect back on 2009. In my own personal reflection of this past year, I have a broad range of emotions that arise - I have experienced some of my life's best moments and most definitely some of my worst. James 1: 1-13 reminds us to consider it joy when we face trials because the testing of our faith produces perseverance. And when we persevere under trials, His word says we are blessed. I have seen his hand in my life this past year in many ways. I have not always persevered perhaps the way I would have wanted or always been able to find much joy in my trials, but I do think that is where God's grace comes in. He meets us right where we are at and for that I am so thankful.
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Reflection Questions for 2009:
1. What was the most challenging thing that happened this past year? Balancing grief with work and normal life.
2. What was the single best thing that happened this year? New babies! My sister and best friend both expanded their families with the additions of Weston and Anna. And there are more on the way for other friends. Yay!
3. What was an unexpected joy? Moving to the St. Paul church plant. We have met some really fun and wonderful friends. In fact, we brought the new year in with them last night!
4. What was an unexpected obstacle? My beloved car needing more work than it was worth. Buying a car wasn't in our plan this year, but our new (to us) CR-V has been wonderful and provided much needed space for traveling and our new mountain bikes.
5. Pick three words to describe 2009: Exciting, Challenging, Transforming
6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2009, without asking them: Momentous, Reflective, Emotional
7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2009, without asking them: Supportive, Adventurous, Fun
8. What were the best books you read this year? Crazy Love by Francis Chan and A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser
9. With whom were your most valuable relationships? Family and close friends.
10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December? It's probably been my focus on what will come after this life. I have tried to simplify things and not take them for granted. I daily think "this could all change in an instant, Sarah. Just stop for a second and appreciate."
11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally? I'd like to think my grief has strengthened me.
12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually? I feel closer to God. I have learned a lot from church and our small group. I am better equipped now to relate to others who have experienced a loss. I have a renewed outlook on life.
13. In what way(s) did you grow physically? I have gotten into a lifting routine with Tom and am finally toning up.
14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others? I have tried to be more available to people, to listen to and encourage them however needed. I have tried to demonstrate my love and appreciation more often.
15. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home? Working with Tom on projects - our new veggie garden and flower garden and updating things around the house together. He is also great with our finances and we enjoy talking about and finding new ways to save.
16. What was the most challenging area of home management? Decluttering! I am still working on that. I love the show Hoarders and it's made me aware of a lot of "junk" in our house.
17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year? Email. Ugh.
18. What was the best way you used your time this past year? I think that every moment I spent with Tom or family was the best use of my time.
19. What was the biggest thing you learned this past year? Life is "but a breath."
20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2009 for you: If Jesus gives us a task or assigns us to a difficult season, every ounce of our experience is meant for our instruction and completion if only we'll let Him finish the work. I fear, however, that we are so attention-deficit that we settle for bearable when beauty is just around the corner. - Beth Moore


Happy New Year,

Things I learned about climbing a rock wall:

1. Don't look down.

2. Keep moving your feet up.

3. Feet. Feet. Feet.

4. You won't fall.

5. Don't worry about your hands.

6. Stay close to the wall.

7. It's awkward, but it's ok.

8. Where your hands are, there your feet will be also.

9. Use your legs.

10. Do not compare yourself to your neighbor.

11. Wear lose clothing.

12. Rent their shoes. No matter what you think, your gym shoes will not be sufficient.

13. It's good to have a coach.

14. Don't give up. Even when your hands really hurt and your legs are tired.

15. Trust your belay.

16. Keep a positive attitude - you will get to the top. Eventually.

17. Watch for falling people.

18. There is an element of danger.

19. Try new things.

20. Climb with friends who know what they're doing.

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And that's just what we did! We went climbing last week for Jamie's (surprise) birthday party in St. Paul. It was quite the adventure! We hadn't seen Jamie and Diedra since last 4th of July - much too long. They are two of the kindest people we know and I always enjoy our time together. And p.s. Jamie was surprised! It was hilarious and so great to see his reaction. Diedra is such a fun wife *smile.
I could only step and grab the white marked "rocks". It was hard. Took me...ohhhhh...roughly 30 minutes? Yeah, something like that.
My rock star climber.
You may notice that Tom moves quite a bit faster than me in the video below...well, this is true. He does. He is also more than a foot taller and has the longest arms and legs of anyone I know. Bless his heart for being so good at climbing. I took my merry time and thoroughly enjoyed myself (kind of.) Funny thing is, I really thought I was moving at a decent pace (Tom refers to it as "slow motion.") I was just thinking every move through, you see. I'm very cautious like that. And apparently slow. It kind of reminds me of when I finished my first triathlon and honestly thought I was crossing the finish line in lightening speed. Pictures proved otherwise as my feet appeared to both be touching the ground in brisk walk type fashion. Whatever.

I wish you could have seen the guy literally running up the wall next to me. Please refer to lesson #10 above.

Happy Birthday, Greg

Happy birthday to my father-in-law! Greg is a generous, honorable, wise, ambitious and Godly man. I can't thank him enough for raising Tom to share and strive for those same qualities. He keeps the family on track and moving, and loves any opportunity to spend time with everyone, especially the two grandchildren. "Papa" has always made his family his first priority after God, and is a great example of the leader husbands are called to be. I'm so thankful for the time and effort he put in to parenting while Tom was growing up. It shows.

Thanks for all you do for us! We love and appreciate you, Greg.

Multitude Monday

#111...Saturday afternoon naps...and maybe Sunday afternoon ones too. #112...Good chats with my mom.
#113...Laughing in the kitchen with the hubby.
#114...Quiet time on the bus.
#115...Funny SNL skits..."Don't make me sing."
#116...Being moved by music.
#117...The quietness and relief my yoga/pilates class brings.
#118...7 am conversations about the Bible. (See also #111.)
#119...Shopping and enjoying time with my friend, Kirsten.
#120...Focusing on what I do have, rather than on that which I do not.


"...but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40: 31


Blessings to you on this Monday,