Life

I'm feeling a bit defeated today. I woke up early and got a bunch (and by a "bunch" I mean...teeth brushed, showered, minimal make-up, stripped bed, load of sheets started, rabbit fed) done before baby girl woke up around 7:30. It helps me tremendously to start the day off like that rather than dragging myself out of bed only when awoken by a fussy baby girl in the next room who needs breakfast. Immediately. 

I know my window of opportunity to accomplish things without distraction is small, so I have been trying to take advantage of it. Despite my efforts to be productive, life seems overwhelming right now. There are lots of things I'm thinking about and wrestling with in addition to just the day to day stuff that has to get done.  I began to make a list of everything I need to do and then I stopped. Lists work well when they're manageable. When they just make you feel worse b/c they're flat out unattainable, I choose to instead just turn to prayer. So my prayer went something like this...

"God, please help me."

It was short and to the point. I definitely think we are in control of our attitudes. I was tempted to take on a very woe is me one not that long ago (we're talkin' 10 minutes), but I'm going to choose joy instead.  

One task at a time.

One day at a time.

Keep my eyes focused on Him.

So here's my sharing some joy in the form of a blog post *smile. (Vacuuming can wait, right?)

Gwendolyn has become quite smitten with her cousin Brookie's grocery cart. This video would lead some people to believe that our little one will soon be walking...we'll have to see about that.

And here she is wearing the same outfit on a different day (we're in between sizes right now people) telling us a detail-filled story. She's started using her hands when talking, which just kills us. You'll be "talking" to her and suddenly she'll put her arms up with hands turned out as if to say, "I don't know." She kind of does it a few times during the "conversation" below.

While we're talking about Gwendolyn, the little toot turned 13 months old this week. I'm not sure I authorized that, but it happened anyway. It's simply incredible the changes she's going through right now. She knows things! Like if you ask her to get her ball she'll go get her ball. Ummmm?! She's a BABY! 

She also knows blankie, baby, cat, puppy, drum, and train. 

She mimics sounds and actions.

She winks.

We're working on body parts. 

She's an expert waver. 

She plays well alone but LOVES it when you get down and engage with her.

She's so sweet and loving and gives "cat" and "puppy" hugs and kisses. 

She politely hands you her food on her tray when she's finished and finally signs "all done" and "more." (We thought the day would never come!)

She loves being chased and playing tag.

She's catching on to using a sippy.

Her personality is really showing - she's fun and gentle yet we're seeing a bit of her strong will coming out, which is all fine and dandy b/c it demonstrates she's right on track developmentally. She knows what she wants and she'll let you know.

Her one year appointment well well although I do.not.like.shots. Ugh. Talk about pullin' on a mama's heart strings. She did very well considering the four pokes and finger prick. Her stats were following her curve perfectly.

Weight: 19 lbs, 14 oz (25%)

Height: 30.5" (75-90%)

Head: 18.5"

Another big change is that I officially stopped pumping yesterday. I had been pumping twice a day while at work until this week when I was finally ready to be done. I went two days pumping only once and was getting only 2 oz total. My friend Margie's text went something like, "Quit pumping." So I did. It's bittersweet and I am fighting back tears just even typing this (part of what I'm thinking about/wrestling with and it goes beyond just stopping pumping); however,  like my mom said, I also know it's something to be celebrated. She takes whole milk well and it'll be a nice break from all the pump piece washing and huge pump bag carrying. I plan to still nurse in the morning and at night, and through out the day on my days home and on the weekends. If you know me, you know I'm overly sentimental so it's hard letting go of certain things. It's not like our nursing days are ending tomorrow though, so I still have that time with her. Like I said, overly sentimental *smile.

Off to change a very poopy diaper...

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! And remember, choose JOY!

Tricks

Gwendolyn does some pretty funny things, but capturing them on camera is often times very difficult. One of her favorite things to do is "wrestle" with daddy on the bed after they get home from work/daycare. Most days after work, I walk in the front door and can hear them laughing away upstairs. I grab the camera and sneak up and almost immediately she starts fussing and wants me to hold her. Sweet, of course. But also annoying for this mama who wants to capture things on film.

Finally, she obliged yesterday and didn't get all camera shy on us. Woohoo! It's the small things...

She is so funny. She looks behind her when she falls and then gets so excited when you get her. She now also "tickles" which is perhaps the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Except for her first smile - that was pretty darn adorable. This video would almost be perfect if it captured her actually saying "tickle, tickle, tickle" but she mostly just does the actual tickling to daddy. If you listen closely, I think she's kind of saying it though.

But the kicker is at the end. Watch all the way through and you'll be able to see one of her tricks I've been trying to get her do for the camera for WEEKS. It'll make your day, I promise.

At least it did mine....*smile.

She may drag toilet paper all over the house and tear it into tiny pieces, but I really, really, really love being her mommy.

March in Pictures

Such a ham.

 Gwendolyn's girlfriend Aubrey was born a month early so she's pretty small, but I just can't believe Gwendolyn ever looked so tiny! We had a wonderful evening enjoying fellowship and a fabulous dinner with some friends from church back at the beginning of the month. Thank you, Carl and Heather! (I'd like to take all FIVE of their adorable children home with me. For one day *smile.)

Oh no, she's discovered the kitchen cabinets!

"Aunt" Sophie sends us the cutest clothes...I'll take this velour set in a size medium please. 

First time at Como Zoo with some other moms and kids from our old mommy & me class...she went crazy when she saw the monkeys! She must share my fascination with them.

She figured out how to go down the stairs and quickly mastered it!

Tom and Gwendolyn get home before me, so almost every time I get home from work they're doing something in the kitchen and I get this view...

Which quickly progresses to this b/c she doesn't quite understand that when I wave and disappear, I've only gone around the corner and come in the front door.  Love her!

Pretty baby.

Waiting patiently on the stairs.

Playing with cousin Nathan on her birthday.

She was back at Nathan and Jacob's house a week later so that I could photograph a newborn near their house. She had a blast! (Thanks for taking her in Aunt Nikki!)

"THIS is how you do it Gwendolyn."

"Here...you try now."

Future ballerina? 

Praisin' Jesus

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” 

- Matthew 19:14

(We still have no idea where she learned to put her hand on her "hip", but it's absolutely adorable and hilarious. I love her "knee pop" as well.)

Introducing....

The newest member of the Barntsen clan:

Luke Thomas Barntsen

4.4.12

2:56 a.m., 9 lbs 3 oz.

22 inches long

Gwendolyn is neutral about her new baby cousin, Luke. She doesn't seem that interested either way. The rest of us, however, are over the moon in love!

Welcome to the family baby boy!!

The Great Exchange

As I was rocking a sleeping Gwendolyn in my arms the other morning and thinking about how I love every single inch of her...I was reminded of how much God loves us as his children. It's so amazing to think that even as much as I love my daughter, His love for us doesn't even begin to compare. It's difficult to fathom really. If asked of me, I'm not sure I'd be able to sacrifice my child, yet that's exactly what he did for each one of us. We've probably all heard the Easter message before...Jesus died on a cross for our sins and rose from the dead three days later.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure


How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

I mean, when you really think about this....it's simply incredible.

God sent his son Jesus who knew no sin to die on the cross and take our sin upon himself. He did this for all past, present, and future sins. He took our sin and in exchange we were credited his righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21.) If we're in Christ - following him and living in faith alone - the gift of eternal life is available to every single one of us. Without his death, we wouldn't know the promised gift of eternal life with him in Heaven. And in His dying, we too died to our earthly desires. They have no power over us. If we're in Christ, the Holy Spirit is working and living within us. We owe him everything.

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers


It was my sin that left Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

And then after dying and being buried in a tomb, he rose just like he said he would. He defeated death. He ascended to be with God in Heaven and promised to return. John 14:2-3 tell us that he prepared a place for us, and if he's prepared a place for us then surely he'll return for those who are in Christ Jesus and believe in him. In the mean time, we are to follow and obey his commands. (Easier said than done, right? Exactly why we need to humble ourselves and accept his grace.)

There's so much more to his sacrificial death and resurrection - the Gospel - when I begin to think and read about it. I am just so thankful that he has ordained my days and leads the way. That doesn't mean it's always easy - our sanctification is daily and none of us will ever fully arrive - but I believe that by grace we are saved. If you believe that you are saved by faith alone, then that amazing sacrifice and grace is for you as well.


I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

"How Deep the Father's Love for Us" has got to be one of my favorite songs of all time. The words are so true and I become overwhelmed by gratitude for all that he endured on my behalf whenever I hear it.


It was my sin that held him there...


His dying breath has brought me life...


But I will boast in Jesus Christ...


His wounds have paid my ransom...

--------------------------------

Lord, we am so undeserving of your love and mercy, yet Father I ask that you pour it on us today. Be present in our homes. Be present in my lives Your sacrifice on the cross is nothing short of amazing. We deserve wrath every day and yet you took our place to save us from our sins. Your love for us is incomprehensible and we'll never fully grasp the great height and depth and breadth in this broken and fallen world. No matter our circumstances, you are so worthy of our praise! Thank you for fulfilling your promises. For those who are in Christ, I believe the promise you made while on the cross to the criminal who acknowledged you will be true for us as well..."I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:42)

I pray the Gospel would reign over our hearts and in our lives and transform us. Fill us with your Holy Spirit. Thank you for your work on the cross and for conquering death.  May your will be done in our lives! Amen.

Happy Easter! 


He is RISEN!

Birthday festivities!

I've wanted to share pictures and details from Gwendolyn's birthday festivities for awhile now and it's your lucky day! It was a such a joyful time! I think I had even more fun celebrating her birthday than I do my own.

Ok, maybe that's pushin' it (truth be told - I love my birthday) but it was close. 

I was a wreck leading up to the day, but at her birthday party and on her actual birthday - no tears! I don't know how many times I teared up - even just talking about her eating her cake and buying her "1" candle at the grocery store are just two examples. Crazy hormones! Despite hours and hours spent working on decorations, (thank goodness for friends like Erin who give up their free afternoons to make fabric banners and tape hundreds - not really, but it felt like it - of pictures on card stock - we love you Erin!!) my ultimate goal was really just to make it special and meaningful. There was much to be celebrated and much to be thankful for. I can't get over how quickly the last year has gone. Before we know it, she'll be studying for her ACTs, graduating, and headed off to Iowa State! 

I really enjoyed planning, shopping and preparing for the day. (Thank goodness for Pinterest.) And I seem to be in the clear on the budget that I definitely went over. Twice. Tom hasn't brought it up! (Yet.)

Ready for pictures?!

(Remember to click on the collages to view pictures larger if you'd like.)

We served appetizers to simplify things. My parents were wonderful help - Dad did a fabulous job creating fruit kabobs while Mom worked on rye bread, cream cheese, and cucumber stickers. She also brought deviled eggs and stuffed dates. And she arranged all of my flowers. And they hauled antique frames, milk bottles, serving platters, and my old high chair to help complete my vision. (What would I do without my parents?!)

I take a lot of pictures of Gwendolyn, but they all have special meaning. Like the first time she wore shoes. Or went to church. Or my first day back at work. Her first time eating food or drinking from a bottle. The very first time she saw a rainbow, or met family members. So many wonderful, cherished memories! Which means too many to pick from, so I just printed them all! There were photo banners galore. And I loved it!

Fresh flowers in mason jars with fabric runners made for simple table decor.

Wrapping wall hangings/photos in our living room in simple brown and green wrapping paper left a clean palate to help make it all about Gwendolyn.

The Dollar Store was a great place to grab a few goodies for the older kids to play with during the party.

I also loved having my favorite outfits from the last year hanging along our curtains...her coming home outfit, first Easter dress, summer clothes from last year that I just loved, black skinny pants - all so stinkin' cute!

After everyone was eating, they all took some time to write their favorite memory of Gwendolyn from the last year (so fun to read and share with her someday.) On the flip side, they took their best guess at how many M&M's were in the jar. Perhaps with a bit of assistance, Brookie took home the grand prize! I love what she wrote: "I love Gwendolyn because she lives near me. I can't wait until she can talk and play with me." Then signed her name. PRECIOUS.

She didn't really know what to think about all the people giving her so much attention. Turned out she had a double ear infection - bless her heart. What a trooper!

I LOVE the picture of everyone singing to her and snapping pictures. She's just soakin' it up!

Considering we drove to the hospital in freezing cold, snowy weather, I never would have thought people would be able to be outside at her 1st birthday. But then it happened! It was fabulous.

Bath toys!

Dresses!

A (pink!) jean jacket!

Her first purse!

So blessed.

So that was the party! What a special day. So happy to have shared that with our families and one of my best friends who is basically family, Erin.

AND THEN...

Aunt Becca came to visit from Omaha!!!

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That's me still totally jazzed about seeing my sister and getting to spend an entire day uninterrupted with her. And on Gwendolyn's actual birthday to make it even more special! So.much.fun.

We took off Friday morning (she flew in late Thursday night) to go visit Nikki, Jacob and Nathan in Hastings. We went to an indoor play place and enjoyed coffee and muffins and super awesome company. Gwendolyn loved the train tables (but we don't have room for one, Dad *smile.)

She went without a morning nap and almost fell asleep in my lap, but got a second wind.

We love family time!!

It didn't stop there!

After all that fun and a quick nap in the car, we were off to Miss Kathy's house for Gwendolyn's day care party. Even some of the other parents came - so sweet of them. And Kathy is amazing! She asked for a theme suggestion so I told her "cats" and she whips out these adorable cat cupcakes. So cute! Gwendolyn wore the adorable hat that Aunt Becca made her, and used her fork like a big girl. She thought the cupcake was pretty yummy! (So did I.) She had lots of help opening her presents, and had such a great time with all of her friends. I love seeing her interact with the other kids - she gets so excited to see them and fits right in. 

I do believe her favorite gift was her stuffed cat, which has since followed her just about everywhere.

Well if that isn't a birthday celebration, I don't know what is!

And she deserves it....our sweet little 1 year old!

Praise Him from whom all blessings flow!

Help Wanted

Parents seek baby translator. Candidates must be knowledgeable in all foreign languages, specifically "a get a goh a get a goh." Previous experience with 12 month old's a plus, but willing to train. Applicants must be available immediately to work irregular hours. Hours are 7:00 am - 9:00 am, 10:30 am - 1:00 pm, 3:00 pm - 7:00 pm. Payment will be made daily in smiles, hugs, kisses, laughter and lots of joy.

Apply today!

p.s Her new stuffed friend goes with her eeeeeeeverywhere. It's a cat so we're not surprised.