3 Months

The three month mark...we made it! (June 23rd) I thought this was supposed to be about the time that your baby starts sleeping through the night. I'm pleased as punch if I only get up twice. She's even had a night where I got up once! (Night following first day at daycare, imagine that *smile.) Then I think the following night she was up five times, but we'll ignore that. 

For the most part, Gwen is a lovely baby. The moms at mommy and me class last week were so encouraging to me in regards to her sleeping and schedule in general. Returning to work has been easier than I was anticipating, but a lot of feelings and emotions have caught up with me in the process...mostly feeling like we aren't doing things right when I never felt like that before (not that I have felt like we had it all figured out, but I wasn't overly concerned about anything and was just enjoying everything about her, including holding her for hours at a time during the day. I absolutely relished in the sweetness of my maternity leave - some days we'd wake up at 7:15 and other days it wasn't until 9:00. Some nights she'd go to bed at 7:00 and other nights it was 9:30. And I was fine with that! Until I started reading articles that talked about how if you don't deal with sleep issues now, you'll have a much harder time changing them down the road.

So here we are. I'm trying not to nurse her to sleep - usually unsuccessfully; however we've had a couple times that she's soothed herself. (After an hour of Tom going up and down the stairs to comfort her.) And we're putting her to bed earlier since she's decided to only sleep 1.5 to 2 hours at daycare (which explains why she comes home exhausted.) This is also my fault since I spent a lot of our days together holding her during her naps. Who would want to sleep all alone if you're used to cuddling all day?! Not me! The class educator, Sue, promised me it's not too late to establish some new habits and that now is actually a great time to do so. Phew. I haven't ruined her for life. The other side of the spectrum is that now is also the time you're developing trust with your child and I so badly want her to know she's loved beyond measure and we'll meet her needs no matter what. So we need to find a balance between those things...and the faster we do so, the better.

Kathy (daycare provider) is wonderful. She told me last week that the other kids would "eat Gwen up and swallow her whole" if she didn't keep an eye on her. I think Gwen has some new friends *smile. One little boy kept saying, "Cute! Cute!" when talking about "the baby" and another little three year old asked where Gwen was on Friday when she was home with me. Ador-able. And last Thursday Kathy said that Gwen was so warm and cuddly after she fell asleep in her arms that she had absolutely no choice but to hold her for thirty minutes. It's hard to be away from her during the day - I think about her constantly - but it sure helps to know she's getting so much attention and love. It's comforting to know she's in good hands.

We're going through a time of adjustment, but I know it'll just take a few weeks to get in the swing of things. I really want to get my house in order (there is something to organize or deal with in every single room I think, which drives me crazy) and get back into a regular gym/exercise routine (which probably should mean no more Joe Joe cookies. Lame.) I'd also be elated if we can get through this sleep training successfully. One. Day. At. A. Time.

Here are some recent pictures!

Go Cyclones!!

Tom meeting our newest nephew, Nathan, for the first time.

Amanda came to visit from Des Moines.

And Laura from Wisconsin!

Just hanging in her robe like mommy and daddy do every night.

Working on tummy time.

She finally fell asleep with our cheeks pressed together as I sang to her and swayed. She is so darn squishy!

First time in the Bumbo chair!

Happy (first) Father's Day

(I had Tom listen to Butterfly Kiss by Bob Carlisle while reading this...I cried, but he seemed fine *smile.)

Dear Daddy,

I know I am still very little and new, but I already know that I am the luckiest girl in the world for having you as my daddy. We have a lot of fun together and you always know how to make me smile. I like it when you talk to me and I get to look you in the eyes. I like touching your beard - it feels prickly. Thank you for changing my diaper even when it's really, really full. Sorry about that. You never seem to mind though.

I know sometimes I can be a bit - well - difficult, especially when you're trying to get me to go to sleep. You are a very patient daddy, and I want to be just like you when I get big. I really like it when you sing to me too. I like trying to sing with you, but I'm not very good yet. I know you'll teach me someday though. My favorite songs are "Jesus, Jesus" and when you sing the ABC's. You really know your ABC's. One of my favorite parts of the day is when you pick me up from Miss Kathy's. I love seeing you and you always make me feel really special. I also wanted to say that I love the clothes you picked out for me for this fall and winter. I can't wait to wear my new black skinny pants and ruffled sweater. And I really like it when you cheer me on during tummy time. I can tell you're one of my biggest fans.

I think you are really cool, dad. I have the best daddy in the world, and I can't wait to do more things with you when I'm not so little anymore. It will be so fun to go the zoo and parks and play dolls together. You'll play dolls with me, right? I hope so. I will also play sports with you, don't worry. And then we can have a tea party afterwards. It'll be perfect. We can invite mom too. But I'll make her coffee instead of tea.

I think God gave me the bestest daddy. I really do love you so much and I hope you have a happy first Father's Day.

Love,
Gwendolyn

(11 days old)

"Remember You're Her Daddy"

Remember you're her daddy when she's crying late at night,

when she needs a little loving  to know that it's alright.

 Remember you're her daddy when dolly's lost an arm,

when you take the time to fix it because you can't resist her charm.

Remember you're her daddy when she's had a rough day,

when school's been pretty tough on her and nothings gone her way.

Remember you're her daddy when she goes on her first date,

when you tell her to be in by ten and she's not home 'till late.

Remember you're her daddy when she makes you very proud,

when in a very natural way she stands out in a crowd.

Remember you're her daddy - the first man she's ever kissed -

and when you leave her side, you'll be very, very, missed.

Remember you're her daddy and remember I am your wife,

we're so thankful that you'll love us for the rest of your life.

- Christine Michaels


We love you, Tom!!!

Well...

We survived.

I have cried when just looking at Gwen a few times in the last two weeks. I also sobbed through our dinner Wednesday night thinking about how I wouldn't be there to comfort her or see her eyes light up when she got excited. I was anticipating my arms just feeling completely empty while sitting at my desk...but that's not how it was at all. It really is a testament to prayer (there were a lot of people praying for us) because I felt completely calm and collected and did.not.shed.a.tear.

Yes, you read that correctly. I didn't cry.

 We had a rough night too so I was very tired on top of everything else. The morning went fairly smoothly for our first run through - I showered, got ready and finished right when she was waking up, changed her diaper and got her dressed, nursed her, had her play on her play mat while Tom and I got our lunches and coffee ready and I packed my bag, loaded her up and off we went to daycare. Kathy was waiting for us at the door and excited for Gwen's first day. I explained a few things, gave her our paperwork, kissed her one last time and that was it. Even I was surprised how well it all went despite the emotions I had been experiencing leading up to the big day. I had a frog in my throat on the way to Kathy's and when I said goodbye, but was able to keep it together.

It was so odd driving to the parking lot, walking to the bus, finding a seat, getting off at my stop, walking into my building and seeing all of my coworkers, but refreshing at the same time. I walked into my cube to find a huge smiling sun balloon, peace lily, candy and card from a coworker - all of which greatly lifted my spirits. My boss also gave me a beautiful plant. Part of me feels like I was gone for so much longer than 12 weeks, but another part of me feels like I never left. Everyone was excited to see me and get a Gwen update, which I happily obliged to. Pumping also went well. Gotta love my new hands free pumping bra.

I called Kathy for an update twice - the first time I could hear Gwen crying in the background, but Kathy assured me all was well and she was getting a lot of love. She said she was sweet as a peach. The second time I called, Kathy said she was an angel (she knows how to ease a new mom's mind *smile) and was sitting on her lap watching all the action. The little stinker didn't sleep much and gave Kathy a little bit of a hard time with her bottle (she loses interest pretty quickly), but I think overall it was a good day. We got home, had a family hug, I nursed her and then she cashed out on my chest for two hours. Bliss. Kathy also mentioned that Gwen farts a lot, which cracks me up. I hadn't really noticed it until we got home tonight and sure enough - toot toot toot. Bless her 12 week old heart. Squish!

And then to top it all of, Kathy likes to give her new families a meal for their first night. Tom said it was the best chicken salad he's ever had. In fact, he went as far as to steal my line and say, "I don't want it to end." What a blessing it was to not have to worry about dinner.

So excited to get my hands on her!

So tired. 

Both of us.

There are several factors that probably contributed GREATLY to our day going so well...

• Knowing I get to stay home with her tomorrow. And Saturday and Sunday. •

• A lot of encouragement from friends and family. •

• The reassurance that Kathy has done this many times for many years, and Gwen will adapt. •

• My husband telling me I look "hot" in my work pants. •

• A team lunch to catch up with everyone. •

• Chicken (best he's ever had) salad on croissants, fresh fruit, cucumber salad and bon bons for dinner. •

• Lots and lots of prayer for strength. •

What a day!

I think after all of that, I deserve a massage. How does 10:00 am tomorrow morning sound? Perfect! *smile.

Now off to bed for hopefully a pleasant night...

First time for everything...

It's really happening. I am going back to work tomorrow. When Gwen was first born, 12 weeks felt like forever and suddenly it's here. I had so many people tell me that you have to go back to work right when it seems they're starting to really interact with you, and that's no lie. Sometimes all it takes is saying "hi" to Gwen and she flashes me a smile. It absolutely melts my heart. Her personality is starting to shine and we have become pretty good at reading her cues. Like if you put her blankie up to her face and she grabs it and rubs it against her eyes then she's tired. She has great communication skills *smile.

I have found myself feeling ready for this day and then the next hour I have tears running down my cheeks thinking that I will go 10 hours without hearing her "voice", seeing her smile, feeling her soft skin and kissing her definitely-filling-out cheeks. I think I'll even miss changing her diapers. I have cherished the last 12 weeks with her, and I'm so thankful I've had this time with our daughter.

I could go on and on about all the things I'll miss, but instead I'm going to try and focus on the things I have to look forward to and just a few of the
things for which I am thankful...

1. Having a job! And a job that isn't stressful and doesn't require time away from my family.


2. Coworkers I enjoy being around. You know who you are! I love the broad mix of people and the different ways they all enrich my life.


3. A boss I get along with and have learned so much from. She and I work very well together.


4. A husband who is amazing with Gwen and definitely has "the touch". She just adores him.


5. Frozen meals in my freezer - thank you to our moms and my sister! Those will be so nice while we adjust to our new schedule.


6. Finding a wonderful, trustworthy daycare provider within 5 minutes of our house.


7. Twelve weeks FILLED to the brim with some of the most amazing and trying moments of my life thus far.


8. Me time on the bus. I won't know what to do with myself - ha.


9. Having evenings to look forward to for family walks and dinners and extra snuggles.


10. Being PART-TIME! I am beyond thankful that my boss agreed to the change in my schedule so I can spend more time with my precious babe.

Those are just a few things I'm thankful for. I'd type forever if I tried to document every.single.thing, but those are the big ones. God has proven himself good over and over again, and I know He will walk this road with us as well.

There is, indeed, a first time for everything, including leaving your child for the first time with someone other than family. There's also a first time for this new mom to reach deep within herself and find the strength needed to wake up tomorrow morning, get herself and her daughter dressed (in something other than sweatpants) and out the door, drop that treasure of a child off at daycare, wipe her tears and make her way to downtown Minneapolis. It will be a transition for sure, but we'll figure it out. Eventually. And Gwen will have fun with Miss Kathy and make lots of new friends. I'm excited for her. As much as I love her, I know she needs more than me as a friend *smile. And I'll look forward to our Tuesdays and Fridays more now than ever before!

I can.not.wait. to see these two tomorrow night...

We'll add this to the long list of "firsts" for our new family of three.

12 Weeks

Hi everybody! I am 12 weeks old today, which means I'm nearing my three month birthday. Ca-rrrrrrazy!

It's really incredible what all happens in two short weeks. Take a look!

• Mom and dad lowered my mattress because I was squirming all over the place and ending up in odd positions that they figured contributed to waking me up. No more incline. I barely noticed.

• Me and mom went to daddy's work to meet all of his coworkers. I really enjoyed meeting everyone and causing what they call a "baby circle" in the skyway. I was an angel!

• My buddy Gavin came over and the four of us went on a walk and had a picnic. He is a lot more laid back than me, but I think it's a boy thing.

• My new baby cousin, Nathan, was born on June 7th. I try not to be jealous of all of his hair because I know I have some qualities he probably wants and doesn't have as well. Like my ability to hold my head up for one. And my boisterous voice for two, among many other things that bigger kids get to do that babies can't.

• The words "strong-willed" and "stubborn" were both used to describe me recently (by my Grandpa and my daddy, no less!). In addition, I'd like to add "super sweet" to the list.

• We've had lots of visitors lately including some of my mommy's best friends from college and high school. It's always fun to hear their stories.

• Without prompting, several people have told me I am starting to look like my mom. An equal number of people have also said they have no clue who I look like. It's still a waiting game, I guess!

• I am veeeery close to being out of my 0-3 month clothes. It's odd, but I have gotten too long for a lot of my sleepers and pants. Who would I get my height from?

• I was consistently breaking free from my newborn sleep sack, so I was moved up to the larger size. It's white fleece and very cozy to sleep in.                       

• My mommy goes back to work tomorrow. I will miss her but thankfully we get to spend Tuesdays and Fridays together since she's only going back part-time. I know I'll really like Miss Kathy, my day care provider. Maybe say an extra prayer for us tomorrow as we make the big transition.

I gotta go play now!

Love, Gwendolyn

Pregnant or not...

...some things never change.

I need some self-control over here people!

Nathan David Sinclair

Gwen has some big news to share with you.

My brother's second son, Nathan David...

No clue where he got the dark brown curls, but we love 'em!

Gwen was being a bit sassy so Grandpa had to "swing" her and then she was fine. I am fully aware that my daughter is a bit particular.

Awwww....

Celeste drove all the way from Des Moines to meet Nathan! 

Not really, but it was an added bonus to the trip.

Welcome to the world, sweet baby Nate. We love you so much already and are so glad you made it safe and sound! 

Nathan David Sinclair

June 7th, 2011

7 lbs, 12 oz

20" long

Miss me?

Well if you do, here I am!

----------------

Celeste and Molly came to visit us recently. 

Gwen's boyfriend, Gavin when she went over to his house to play.

 
Gwen - don't hit. That's not nice. 

Hanging with Aunt Nikki last week (who had the baby this morning!) More details - like his name - to come...

Memorial Day weekend...

Dressed all pretty for church.

Adorable. Snuggles with Aunt Natalie.

Somebody loves bath time! Most of the time. If you're fast.

Vote for your favorite...

I love editing pictures. Especially of Gwendolyn.

Which is your favorite: color, aged or black and white?

I vote for #1, #2 and #3.

10 Weeks

Hi everybody!

I am 10 weeks old today. Doesn't it seem like I was just born?!

Lots of things have happened since I was only 8 weeks old...

• I went and played with my friend Gavin so my parents could go on a Saturday afternoon date. Supposedly they went to the gym together for the first time in 2 months and out to lunch. I'm guessing they talked about me the entire time. Next time Gavin gets to come over to my house so his parents can go on a date. 

• I blow lots of raspberry bubbles.

• I love it when people smile and talk to me so I can smile and coo back.

• I have found my hands and love sucking on my fingers. And if you're holding me I will probably suck on your shoulder and your arms, if they're available.

• You know when I am tired now because I rub my eyes. Mom and dad think that is very convenient. What? Didn't they know exactly when I was tired before? As if I'd cry for no reason, silly parents.

• I sometimes lay on my play mat for 10+ minutes and am very good at entertaining myself. I look in my mirror, hit my rattle, touch the soft fabric, make the big bee play music, and look at the bug designs on the walls. It's one of my favorite things to do.

• I try so hard to talk, but my vocabulary is still pretty limited.

• I am now (somewhat) consistently sleeping for 4 to 5 hours during my first stretch at night. It's too bad mom and dad don't go to bed between 8:00 and 9:00 because then they probably wouldn't be yawning so often. 

• I finally got to meet my Aunt Natalie for the first time! Even better, she and my Uncle Greg and cousins Grant and Brooke are MOVING HERE so I'll get to snuggle with all of them a lot this summer.

• My 2 month check-up went well. My daddy came with because mommy was nervous for the shots. They made me very sad, but I was back to my old self after some Tylenol.

• I rolled from my stomach to my back! Unfortunately, my mom was upstairs and missed it so I wouldn't recommend bringing it up. But I promised I'd do it lots more times just for her.

Here are my recent stats as of 5/27/11:
Height: 23 1/4; 90-95%
Weight: 11 lbs, 7 oz; 50-75%
Head: 16; 75-90%

I just woke up from a great 2.5 hr nap and am ready for a fun afternoon with my mom. Have a great day!

Love,
Gwendolyn