I go in such waves of emotions... (are we surprised?)
Am I noticing the small things? (yes)
Am I present enough? (sometimes)
Am I going to remember everything? (no)
What can I be doing differently, better, more efficiently? (a lot)
What does God want me to learn in this season of life? (to seek Him, learn from His word, and walk in His ways.)
Most recently, I've just been feeling very emotional that I am not yet the mom I want to be, even after three kids and four years. (I also know we'll never fully arrive and we're constantly in a state of sanctification.) Sometimes I feel like time is running out, but I know that's just the enemy telling me I'm not good enough and that God won't fill in where I fall short. I look at these kids and just don't want to fail them. I see what precious gifts they are and how fleeting time is and I do not want to miss any opportunities. I know all they need is love. And thankfully I have a lot of that to give.
Ok, I'm getting distracted.
Luther is actually now 18 weeks old so let's talk about all he's been up to!
16 weeks
18 weeks
• I had switched to taking his bi-weekly pictures on my phone to simplify the process a bit, but I'm not sure I'll be able to keep doing that with how active the little baby boy is. I wasn't happy with how blurry they turned out so I got out the good camera again for 16 weeks. This adds four additional steps to this documentation process. I'm not sure it's worth it because I already struggle getting to the computer, but then again....what if some day he is sad that all of his bi-weekly pictures are blurry?! ;)
** update: 18 week pics were back to phone. You can tell the difference, but if I took those on my camera, this wouldn't ever get posted!
Maybe I just never kept the "bad" ones, but I went back through Conrad's bi-weekly pictures and he didn't start moving all over the place until muuuuch older. He was sitting with his hands in his lap for the majority of them.
See?
I hope this isn't a glimpse of what is to come. :)
• He's gotta be close to rolling over. Grandma says I have to put him down for him to learn these things. (And for the record...I do put him down, Mom. :) In fact, he was in the Mamaroo for an hour the other night! I made dinner AND the four of us all ate at the same time!)
• Luther's legs are getting pretty strong. I was changing his diaper on the ottoman the other day like I always do, and he suddenly pushed off my knees and just about went off the other side head first. Thankfully mommies react quickly when their babies almost fall head first off ottomans and I grabbed his thighs. Phew! Accident avoided.
• Unfortunately he's started spitting up. Some times it's worse than others (he didn't spit up at all yesterday?), but you better have a burp rag near by to clean it up. I was thinking maybe it was because he's been sucking on his fingers and drooling more and daddy thinks it's because he's swallowing more air because he uses his paci so much more often now. Perhaps it's a combination of everything. I wish I knew because I'd try to fix it. It's definitely making for more laundry. I suppose I shouldn't complain since I only do one load a week, if that.
• Have I mentioned how much I love his toes? Especially from the underneath. They're the cutest little things. And I love how he still curls them up. They look like little round squishy buttons.
• I broke out the amber and hazlewood necklaces. Who knows if they actually work, but my other two wore them and teething was a piece of cake, so if it has anything to do with those necklaces, then I'm a believer!
• If he could get his entire fist in his mouth, he would. Even his pediatrician commented on that.
• He always giggles when I kiss him in his neck or under his chin. Or when daddy makes funny faces at him.
• Luther will hang out for a full hour in his car seat during swimming lessons. And this morning, the little trooper was in his car seat from 9:20 until 12:20 straight while we took Sissy to camp, played at the park, got groceries at Target, ran the groceries home, and went back to pick Sissy up. He barely made a peep!
I wish he'd travel that well! (It is the same car seat, Luther Thomas....)
• I have a love hate relationship with this pacifier business. Love it because it soothes him and often gains us time if he's unhappy in the car seat or in bed. But the darn thing falls out so easily, which frustrates us both. I think I ran upstairs three times last night to put it back in before he finally passed out for bed. Same thing happens at nap time. He'll basically be sleeping but fussing. Once it's back in, he turns his head to the side and all is well. One thing I love about it though is when he smiles at me from behind it. That is pretty darn cute.
• He's regressed in sleeping ever since he had that ear infection last month. We've just never quite gotten back into our 6-8 hour stretches on a consistent basis. Last night he did go 6 hours, 45 minutes but two nights before that he was up at 12:30 and then nursed several more times before mommy had no choice but to get the day started. Those make for tough mornings where I reeeeally have to dig deep for patience and grace. I succeed more on days I'm able to spend even a few minutes in my bible or with a good devotional. He's still being swaddled, but I think one of my problems is that I don't re-swaddle him after he wakes up. My back was bothering me so much from the up and down and lifting of 16+ lbs, so I've just been leaning over and bringing him into bed to nurse laying down. I think this has definitely helped, but then I don't re-swaddle him so he probably is startling himself awake again.
Last "night" I did re-swaddle him, but kept him beside me (it was 5:20 am) and he slept until 8:30!
Having said all of the above, it's just about time to probably break the swaddle habit. Ha.
• No rolling over yet, but soooo close.
• Moved up to size 3 diapers. How can we be half way through the sizes of diapers already?!
• Our 3-6 month clothes fit but he's filling them out big time. Mommy doesn't have 6-9 month summer boy clothes, so he needs to put growing on a halt for two months.
• We had his 4 month well check on Monday. He's longer and 2 lbs lighter than his big bro was at 4 months. I know I shouldn't compare them so much, but it's just fascinating to me!
Weight: 16 lbs, 11 oz - 85%
Height: 28" - 99%
Head - 17.25" - 96%
He had three shots and one oral vaccine. He was so mad afterwards, he wouldn't even nurse and just wanted to be held. What a trooper.
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We love our Luther Tom Tom!!
:)
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